are you a woman in the middle?(TIPS FROM professional coaching for expat women)

(notice I didn’t say ‘stuck’ in the middle)

When someone asks you ‘so how are things?’..

Does your response start with ‘right now I’m in the middle of …’

Not an uncommon answer because most of us spend most of our lives ‘in the middle’ of something or other.

In the middle of:

• ‘trying to build my career in (X industry)

• ‘getting the kids grown and launched’

• ‘my 30s/40s/50s and thinking about’

• ‘moving from X to Y’

We use the words ‘in the middle’ to refer to:

• Being between one thing and another

• Being focused in one place/season/area of life

• Being at a midpoint in a process (study/fitness plan ...)

So, when we add the word ‘stuck’ what are we really saying?

I’m ‘stuck in the middle’ usually means that I'm in a place or season that I’m not enjoying but I don’t see what’s next or how I’m going to get there from here

It seems to me that being in the middle gets a bad rap … we all want to be on the launchpad ready to jump into sopmething new or at the top of the mountain, having climbed long and hard to get there.

(apologies for the mixed metaphor)

But you get my point … being in the middle isn’t seen as an edgy or cool place to be.

So, we’re quick to add ‘stuck’ to our description of being in the middle of something.

We’re quick to dismiss being ‘in the middle’ as a boring grind – just a waypoint on the path to somewhere else that is more exciting.

But what if we thought about being in the middle from a different perspective:

• What if being in the middle was just fine?

• What if we attended to the joys and lessons of being where we are?

• What if there was a sense of peace with being where we are?

• What might that feel like?

What if our response to the question so ‘how are things with you?’ went something like this:

'I’m inthe middle of X and 

• I’m noticing that XXX is changing in me

• What I’m enjoying about this time is XXX

• What I’m learning here is XXX'

IMO that’s a conversation worth having …

If you are an expat women and you want to talk with a professional coach ...

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