Relocation – it’s a marathon, not a sprint- tips from professional coaching for expat women

How to enjoy the running - professional coaching for expat women

When you’re planning a move to another country – often the big pieces take up mental space.

The visas, housing, work, schooling and other logistics are the things that relocation companies busy themselves with (quite rightly). These elements of the expatriation experience are their focus as they move people around the world.

Following on from this focus people moving abroad can find there’s a mindset (trap) that develops.

It’s the ‘things will feel better when’... mindset.

It looks like this:

• Things will feel more settled when our visas are approved.

• Everything will be calmer once we’ve moved into our new place.

• The kids will be happier when they’ve found new friends

•  I’ll be happier when I’m confident in my new role

• We’ll all feel better when we’ve learned some basic (language)

You know … the things you tell yourself on those days when everything seems too hard and the questions arise about why you even thought that this was a good idea in the first place.

So, what’s the problem with this mindset?

It’s all about living in the future – about anticipating (rather than experiencing) the good things you hoped for when you decided to move abroad. It’s the idea that now is unpleasant and happiness/settling/pleasure will only happen at some time down the track.

Here’s the thing about this – while you will move ahead in your relocation journey in a practical sense with the resolution of visas, accommodation, work etc. it’s quite likely that your future-focused mindset won’t change. 

Why?

Because there will always being some new challenge that keeps you locked in the ‘things will feel better when’ mindset … trust me … having talked with quite a few expats I know this to be a common experience.

What’s the alternative??

Developing a mindset that allows you to enjoy the journey rather than always looking ahead to some imagined finish line. 

It’s a cliché but learning to live in the now creates space for both the enjoyment and the challenge of living abroad to happen at the same time...

So, what does a mindset of presence in the now look like?

• Taking time for the exercise/activity that you know will help you feel more energised

• Making time to meet that acquaintance you felt a spark of connection with

• Going to the concert/exhibition/park purely for the enjoyment of it

• Creating boundaries around the intrusion of work into personal space and time

• Noticing the sunset, a new bookstore, a park that you haven’t seen before, a moment of peace and calm

Celebrating the achievement of milestones along the way – passing the language exam, kids coming home from school happy, a word of affirmation from your boss or colleague

Yes, they seem like trivialities alongside the big things … but I encourage you to experiment with this way of thinking for a week or two.

See what you notice.  Hopefully, you’ll find some joy in the running. You may want to consider specialist professional coaching for expat women.

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