professional coaching tips for expat women: overcome friday afternoon loneliness

Loneliness isn’t a harmless feeling. In adults, loneliness is comparable in health risk to smoking or alcoholism. It predicts chronic diseases, cognitive decline, and emotional distress.  

It can’t (and shouldn’t) be ignored or minimised.

Yet often loneliness is that thing you can’t talk about – an awkward secret.

So, before you stop reading, abandon hope and pull the covers over your head – there is some good news (from professional coaching for expat women)here.

It's easy to make plans with others but less so with ourselves, but getting just as intentional on a Friday about your solo weekend plans can go a long way towards shrinking feelings of loneliness.

Here’s a neat rundown of some tips and practical things from coaching science, that you can do to banish the weekend wobbles …

• Choose one person you trust to have a conversation with over the weekend – make a time to call – do it even though it’s the last thing you feel like doing and you think you have nothing to talk about. Get past the weather and the football to talking about how you feel.

• Start a weekend ritual – choose a walking route with a good coffee stop and take a book to read or a journal to write in. As you walk be intentional about looking around you rather than ruminating.

• Limit (or preferably avoid) social media – loneliness is worsened by comparison with the unreality of the Insta reel.

• Acknowledge the losses you’ve faced in moving abroad – they’re real and it’s OK to feel sad about what you’ve given up to step into a new life.

• Look for tiny moments of connection – say hello to the barista, even better try out any new language skills – ask them about their day; pat a dog in the park and say hello to the owner; drop into a bookstore and ask for a recommendation.  These small connections, sometimes called ‘social snacking’ have been shown to release endorphins and elevate mood.

'If I could move all my friends here it would be perfect.'​

You want to find people that you feel relaxed and comfortable with … that you can just call up or go out with to have a good time doing the things you like doing – you want to find 'your' people.

When you’re in the messy middle, away from the old, familiar people and routines, but you haven’t yet found the new people and places, each weekend can feel like a lonely corridor of self-doubt.

You’ve let go of the safety of your past, but the person you’re becoming is still walking through shadows. It is perfectly Ok to feel both hopeful and heavy all at once.

But loneliness needn’t overtake you as you look ahead to the weekend  … you can, with intention, have a weekend that hopeful, connected and something you feel Ok to share on Monday when someone asks ..

‘How was your weekend??’